Poem 30

 

When grinding wheat

Between his feet

And calling in the hogs -

Haley thought he saw a rabbit

Running with the dogs.

He pulled his mighty arrow back

Avoiding any angry counter attack -

But broke the string

Dropped the thing

And shouted out in pain.

 

Burma Shave.

Poem 29

 

With a ping and a bling

The day will begin

Out of bed

Toes to the floor

Stand in the door

Clothes from the drawer

Brush teeth

Seek coffee

Find food –

It begins.

Poem 28

 

Before you go to sleep this eve

Remember he is away from home

Remember she is facing danger; taking risk

Remember she is keeping us safe

Remember all he does for freedom's sake

Remember they are there for all of us

Remember some will come home wounded

Remember some will not come home at all -

So in some moment in this Memorial Day

Remember; wish fair winds, calm seas;

Godspeed along throughout their day.

Poem 27

 

With hidey how and hidey hee

I think that I will take a pee

And wonder where the stream will go

And who will 'sorb the yellow flow

But then I wonder

'bout a tree

And know that no one cares

'bout pee

So I shall ponder

Bigger quests

And wonder who

Shall be our guest.

Whether rodent small

Or hippo large

Who shall wonder at the stars

Who shall drive our tiny cars

When will critters look at scares

Of eating, dining and hearty harws.

Poem 26

 

When round the curving road

The salmon and the toad

Come running in the spring

Sweet greetings for to bring -

Then hamburgers and fries

Will fall down from the skies;

Rivers will run red and green

With catsup, relish, onions keen

To grace our pallets, touch our lips

And live forever round our hips.

 

Poem 25

With the complexion

Of molded ham and cheese

Jacob Jumpus fell down

Bursting both his knees;

Caught the knife to cut

The bread and sandwich mix -

He asked for change and

Getting none;

Went off upon his way.

Guest Poem #2

Man,

It hit the fan.

I'm in the can.

What a slam.

Wham.

Poem 23

 

With blinking blinkers all aglow -

Red paranormal apples in the dough -

Salmon pies baking in noon-day sun -

Smells so strong all must run -

Reminding all forlorn of fun

What might have been -

When sun and fun and rain and hail

Came together at the county jail.

Poem 22

 

When wanton royals ramble and romp

The rest of the world determined to stomp;

When hamburger and mustard mix in the way

That causes our stomachs to have their say;

Then comes the sunlight full of day

Inviting all to come and play

The same stupid games that elephants learn

When lion and leopard they do spurn.

 

Poem 21

 

I worry much of the time

about

Palm oil

Taking over the world:

Worse than the blob eating New Jersey;

Worse than global warming heating the polar caps;

• I've never met anyone wearing a polar cap
  
• But still I believe they exist;
  

Worse than being buried alive in

Chocolate chip cookies;

    I have seen chocolate and cookies and chips

    Even potato chips and buffalo chips;

Worse than a world without orangutans, delta smelt

Uncolored margarine, three legged stools,

Members of the Bush family;

Better than falling into a volcano.

I promise with all promise power

Said today and good for an hour -

I'll not drink palm oil

Ever again if that makes you happy.

Drinking it generally makes me feel crappy

Anyway.

Guest Poem #1

 

I live by the creed,

to do the deed

take the seed

mellowed by mead

suddenly freed

thus to breed

the mighty steed

pranced through the weed

like wind in a reed

song sung, mead peed

all resolved in the bead.

Poem 20

 

Hey! You! Everyone! Listen!

It could be, yes, that somebody's pissing -

But my concern is greater tales;

Tragic events, flagons of ale;

Tortured words that cannot fail.

I

Salmon colored was the sky

When Rolf da Noft went out to try

Wrong righting for small fry.

His mighty stead of Harley line;

His boots and jacket of leather fine;

His purpose to justify all nine

Gallons in his tank

By capturing the robbers of the bank.

Tying them fast to handle bars

Only to deliver them to prison bars.

 

II

No word of caution would he brook

As he raced to catch this crook -

Whose family waited in get-away

With fire power and desire to pray.

At eighty-five Rolf's sight was clear -

With head unclouded by wine and beer.

Not so the crooks that fled by car -

Their lifestyle betrayed by fat cigar

Dipped in brandy in the back seat

Where fumes prepared the driver for defeat.

 

 

 

 

Poem 19

 

When alligators run upside the stream

Dogs of war howl and roar

Lions catch the tigers by the paw

And Waldo's where he ought to be.

Poem 18

With fresh cooked ham -

Not unconfigured Lamb

Or remediated Clam;

I feel really tame

Not playing the game

Waiting for blame

Without no feeling of shame -

Nicholas is trying to be the same -

A state farm customer waiting for to claim

Dollars for whiplash

Or fenders a-mash.